Last night I made a list of friends I need to tell, OMG I have so few of them .
I have been thinking about transition and who I need to tell, "J" and I have already told most family members, children, parents and friends we had as a couple.
Close friends coming next, I have two car friends I see on a semi regular basis that already know, one of whom I would classify as an unhyphenated friend having transcended the realm of just automobiles though that is what we still talk about the most.
The others are few and far between, most of whom I have not talked to for a period ranging from six months to a year. Perhaps I could just fade out of their lives and never have to explain myself. But I think I owe them an explanation or goodbye. So over this month I will contact the three or four remaining car friends and tell them of my transition.
Besides remaining family there is the wider world of neighbours, work clients and customers. My boss has already told my close co-workers with no apparent ill effects.
The world around us of acquaintances but so few friends. Is this indicative of transsexual/ transgendered people that we have trouble making friends as we cannot share all of our selves with someone else, that we are always hiding a parts of our selves, at least that is how I feel.
The few friends that I have managed to acquire over half a lifetime have been equalled, no surpassed by the number of friends I have meet in the trans community or the unofficial group of trans women who gather in our little neck of the woods. Both pre op and post op these are people I might never have met otherwise but a shared struggle has brought us together .
Nevertheless these are people who have become trusted friends that I can tell anything, perhaps it is something that binds us together far more than automobiles ever could.
Five minutes to midnight….the big days looms and I still have so much to do. Work has the potential to become very busy so I will have little time to worry and navel gaze about going full time. Bring it on!
Musical pick of the day is The Muffs with New Love from 1991. A perfect punk pop song that demands you dance around the room. Once again hat tip to my brother for turning me onto another band I was unaware.
Hi April,
ReplyDeleteLike you, I too have very few friends, and you may be right about us t-girls having a difficult time making friends. After all, we are hiding something that might crash that part of our worlds. So, we just keep the status quo.
Wonderful news about your colleagues at work!
I think your truly trusted friends will rise to the occasion and be accepting and supportive. As for your neighbors, I think some of them already have some idea. I know I do.
Terrific pictures.
Prayers and Hugs Always,
Cynthia XX
Love the photos. Oh boy I have very few close friends and have often wondered why. I think my issue is more to do with me being pansexual. than a transman.
ReplyDeleteApril,
ReplyDeleteJust like Cynthia, I can concur with your writing about making friends.
It is hard to really make friends rather than acquaintances, as we aren't who we completely are - with them. We are with ourselves and those we bravely reveal our full selves to as we journey through life. But, how many of us can do that before taking THE PLUNGE? Very, very few I am afraid.
Hopefully, things will go much better than planned. BTW, don't come back and complain about bad hair days and the like. You look too gorgeous for that! : )
Karin (IJAG(IT))
you are a beauty girl! And i love your blog, it's great, kisses.
ReplyDelete