I finally saw the doctor yesterday to do something about my depression. A super busy day filming and I just made it to my appointment and slumped into the waiting room chair dressed as him and not caring.
"J" and other members of my family had been pointing out the obvious signs. Finally I began to perceive that it was having a negative impact on my ability to function and not least on those around me.
I had been very scared to ask for help as I saw it as a personal failing and that sometimes anti-depressants make suicidal thoughts worse. With full time fast approaching I was also afraid any little set backs would be fatal.
It has been a while since I have taken joy in anything, I have put off going out as April even though I know it is helpful, I just couldn't make the effort. Day to day responsibilities were all I could manage. Even more telling, I bought a new car (well new to me) and I could hardly summon a smile.
picture is of my 76 Mark IV in the rain at Ford HQ
I am going to try and blog daily until the big day.
Keep going girl. it will get better very soon.
ReplyDeleteAs always, I am praying for your success with full time. Believe. It will all be okay sister.
ReplyDeleteHugs and Prayers,
Cynthia
Hi April,
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you're taking steps to help with the depression. That takes a lot of courage.
Having been there myself, one thing I'd mention is that there are many different options available in terms of antidepressants. Don't be afraid to let them know if something doesn't feel right.
I once switched after what I was taking interacted badly with another medicine I was taking. (I was seeing everything as if it was in slow motion. Very weird!) Within a few days of switching, I felt 1000 times better.
Thinking of you - hang in there!
== Kelly
Love Who You Are<3G
ReplyDelete