Christmas Countdown: Talking Suburban Shopping Mall Christmas Blues

Off for some last minute Christmas shopping today, making sure we watch the pennies.

Bank in the morning to sign some papers, felt like total crap and quite uncomfortable as I am not working. Just feeling off today, feeling ugly and like I am not passing at all. Put me in a terrible mood, argued with "J". Made me feel even worse. Ate a good half bag of barbecue potato chips….my one weakness.

Once again thank God for modern pharmaceutical science.

Waiting in line at Canadian Tire parts counter, guy starts explaining that I have the wrong furnace filters. Turns out he was just back from Afghanistan servicing HVAC systems. You really need the corrugated paper style that you cannot see through he tells me. Gave him a big smile and picked out the other kind (assume I passed!).

Turns out the store no longer stocks distributor cap and rotors…OMG I feel old. Next time I will ask where is the kerosene for my horseless carriage's headlamps.

Think I am just about over feeling sorry for myself. Will try to channel some traditional Christmas cheer and help bake cookies. Maybe watch the Alastair Sim's Christmas Carol later and cry when Tiny Tim lives.

I know I don't have it as bad as many transitioners and I should be more grateful for what I have, the support I have and the continuing friendship of so many.

It is a tough road for many of us so a double shot of Christmas blues to hopefully mellow you out from that mincemeat pie high and contemplate what we have to thankful for. Some of us are alone this season so pick up the phone, e-mail or just go visit them.

Hugs,

April

PS. Picture is of Bettie Page of course