Not just an Elvis song. I am still recovering from the worst flu ever! Seriously folks I have never been so sick.
A week in bed has left me near stir crazy, insomnia, claustrophobia (my biggest fear). I wake up in the middle of the night feeling buried alive and on the edge of panic and insanity.
These feelings have come to follow me into daylight hours. I imagine this is what it is like to come close to experiencing a nervous breakdown.
I think the sickness left me too much time in my own head and all my worries and concerns have overwhelmed me producing feelings of being trapped. It has got to point where I fear going to sleep and stay up as late as possible to guarantee I will be unconscious as soon as my head hits the pillow. Even then I have to calm myself by breathing deeply and slowly while thinking happy thoughts.
Perhaps it is the bitter cold and bleak winter landscape is adding to my desperation.
I hope as I get better and do my best to address each issue, primary a lack of a “real” job I will be able to enjoy sleep again.
I'm so sorry, April. Being afraid to sleep... how awful. I'd give you a huge hug for as long as you need it if I were up there, but I'm afraid a virtual one will have to suffice for now.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that when your fortunes turn - which they will - well, sis, you are going to be on the roll of all rolls. Because you have endured enough unearned, undeserved hardship for a dozen lifetimes.
Be good to yourself, hon, and know you're loved. :c)
Hugs,
Cass
BTW, I thought your title referenced this song, one of my very favorite Kinks songs:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEf8WDRTR1Q
God Save The Kinks! ;c)
Hugs,
Cass