I was never self conscious about my choice of car before but as April I have had the odd twinge of reluctance to be seen behind the wheels of some of my cars.
First of all they are all unique and I could be possibly outing myself to be seen en femme in any of them. Even on this blog I am wary to mention exactly what year car I am currently obsessing over as an errant Google search could quickly lead back to my male persona. So no photos or discussion of the Caddy or Stutz until I am out!
I have most frequently used my Corvette or Oldsmobile Toronado as C3 Corvettes are a common sight in the summer and the Toronado although quite rare seems to have a stealth quality about that rivals a Klingon warbird.
If I was truly paranoid I would stick to the late model Chrysler Town & Country minivan that is the primary family transport.
The Lincoln Continentals are great cars and I have even driven the 72 to an LGBT event (it made for quite an entrance) but the 76 gives me pause. Not because it is unreliable or too unique (it is dropped and riding on 20s) but because it is in desperate need of paint….basically she is looking a bit too ghetto for my taste. As a guy I was not too self conscious about her appearance, it gave the Mark a rat rod mystique and alerted other car fans this was a work in process and I did the work.
Not the message I wanted to send as April, I found myself at the gas station recently admiring a pretty grey and silver 79 Cadillac Seville. A perfect April car I caught myself saying or maybe a nice Jaguar XJS convertible might be a good choice…
For a car “guy” who prided “himself” on being an iconoclast and driving whatever “he” thought cool this was heresy. I am still far from confident as my female self and anything out of the ordinary or not typically feminine is something I try to avoid, like pulling up to Payless Shoes in a lowrider.
I know that I love cars whatever my gender and I have no intention of abandoning that part of myself when I transition. The intensity of that affair may diminish somewhat but I could no more deny that part of myself as I could go back into the closest so to speak.
Somewhere in here is a lesson about being true to oneself also I need to spruce up the Mark IV so it is mall ready. Did you know her metallic jade green almost matches my favorite MAC eye shadow?
Hugs
April
