I recently changed jobs or rather companies, I am still doing the same thing in the same industry, I left my previous employer because I knew I could never transition there. So the first part of the plan has come to pass. Step two; tell my current employer that I will be going full time.
Before I tell him (by the way I work for a small privately held company not some multi-national corporation) I want to equal my salary in new business I have brought in within my short three month probationary period. I closed a recent deal that put me ¾ of the way there already.
After those three months and assuming I have reached my personal goal I tell my boss who has known me for a decade. We had worked together in the past as well.
I am a wreck trying to achieve my work goals and mostly wondering what his reaction would be.
I saw my therapist who told me I was giving all my power away to others, well my boss does have the power over my salary and thus life style, my families’ wellbeing and ability to transition.
He suggested perhaps I pave the way with some hints, hmmm not too keen on letting the cat out of the bag just yet. But sometimes the universe provides the answer you are looking for
My boss recently confessed that he loves the British soap opera Coronation Street, as does my mother who just informed me one character Hayley is transsexual. Bingo. Now to work that into a conversation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayley_Cropper
Discussed my anxieties about goals and coming out to my boss with “J”, she said therapist is right, don’t, give him all the power. Don’t come as a supplicant on bended knee offering him a choice whether to accept you or deny you the right to transition at work.
Approach him in a respectful manner and state that this is who you are and always have been since he has known you. In the next few months you will be embarking on the next more public stage of transition and going full time.
The ball is now in his court as to whether to accept or reject you but not the decision to transition that is yours and you have made it. I feel a lot better about what I have to do now.
Hugs,
April
