Sunday was a beautiful day, I had gone into the big city that morning and watched my girls swim in the afternoon.
Late in the day I made a quick run to the supermarket (I like use the archaic 1950s term Foodliner…just sounds so sleek and modern) and ran into a relative I had not seen in two years.
She spotted me first though it took me a heartbeat to recognize her. Caught off guard I experienced the resurrection of some buried and still rather raw feelings.
I admire this person but since my transition she has broken off contact. I kind of understand her reasons for no longer inviting me into her home but I feel hurt that there was no communication by either phone, e-mail or even a time made to meet over coffee.
My reaction was so severe I felt the fight or flight response kick in. I remained polite and she explained her reason for not associating with me. We hugged with vague promises of contact after Montreal. I could not help still feeling like a pariah, an untouchable, a deviant.
I was so angry and embarrassed I could hardly finish my shopping. That evening I had to go for a long walk to burn off all the bad feelings.
