ok ok ....I had great plans to post something everyday leading up to Christmas but working in retail means that this time of year is madness. Once I'm home (and still some dilating necessary) I am too beat to do more than crawl into bed.
Oh yeah I almost forgot.....I hate Christmas!
The over commercialisation, the pressure to create a perfect holiday, the perfect gifts the perfect meal, etc etc. The damned expense!!!! A December to Remember.....if I see one more luxury car commercial with a red bow I will go nuclear.
Heck, I love luxury cars but who gives $100,000 vehicles like they were sweaters. Mercedes and Lexus I'm looking at you.
Seriously, the season on the whole makes me depressed, I've never been a fan. The separation of my family and only getting to see my daughters for half of the day, being a guest in my former home is difficult and emotionally trying.
I know a lot of "normal" people feel the same way, the malls are filled with grumpy, surly and sometimes downright rude shoppers. The roads and mall parking lots alike are like a scene from Death Race 2000.
Today was the Christmas pageant at my ex's church (as Groucho said, I would not want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member). I got to attend and surprisingly didn't spontaneously combust upon crossing the threshold.
I think I do know why I have always hated the holidays. It is an emotional time. Before transition it was the pain of hiding who I was and now it is the loss of that prior normalcy. The nuclear family, the white picket fence, the perfect family Christmas.
But even my grinch like heart can feel what is still good about Christmas on the day, visiting as many family and friends as I can cram into 24 hours. That I look forward to.
Merry Christmas.....you filthy animals
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| the Plaza Hotel in Niagara Falls, Miss Monroe stayed in room 801when filming Niagara in 1953 |
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| a rather wetter blonde |
