I totally understand why, one is now a woman in full and the
soul searching is over, stealth and normal life is what is important.
Well my life is still far from normal and I still have some
things to say, nor do I wish to say goodbye to all my friends on this site.
The last month has been one of the most stressful of my
life. I moved the last of my possessions from my old home (throwing away many
many car parts I collected over the years). Moving is always difficult but it
was closing a fifteen year chapter in my life that took the real emotional
toll.
Going through a life times memories stretching back to my
school days in England, to marriage and children made it seem more like
cleaning up after the death of a loved one. And in some ways I guess it was.
The last month also saw the end or rather transformation of
a relationship with a close friend. I was more devastated than I could have
previously imagined.
My relationship with my ex also hit an all time low, just
going back to my old home made me feel sick.
Music, cars, history anything I felt passionate about felt
grey and lifeless.
These events conspired to push me back into the darkest
depths of depression, it was all I could do to get up and go to work, blogging
was a bridge too far. Despite the cost I sought professional help from my
therapist and doctor.
A big shout out to Cassidy for listening, responding to my
texts and just being there for me.
I wish I could say that all that pain is behind me now and
that I am moving forward on the back of a rainbow coloured flying unicorn that
poops skittles. It feels more like climbing Mt. Everest but at least I am
moving up!
I have more to say about dating and relationships but that
will be for later in the week.
Hugs,
April
Big Hunk of Love...always one of my favourite Elvis songs, here is an incendiary cover by the Jim Jones Revue
