Thursday 28 November 2013

Sad Ass Christmas

First an apology to my American cousins who have yet to get Thanksgiving and Black Friday out of the way. Above the 49th parallel we celebrate turkey day a little earlier so the stores can begin their Christmas sales that much earlier.

Secondly an apology for my lack of blogging, work, looking for a career position, family, car repairs etc have taken most of my time leaving little for writing or friends.

Jeez, I could do a whole post on installing a new distributor in my Lincoln Mark IV....took Napa three attempts to get me the right one. I will save the whole sordid story for another post, I know you can't wait.

I have attempted to write this post a few times but gave up. Again sorry but this will be somewhat stream of consciousness, if I don't write it now I never will. In a nut shell, in approximately one week I will leave my home (I guess it will no longer be my home), separation/divorce will be finalized. I will be moving about thirty to forty minutes drive away. I wish I could be closer but I cannot afford it.  

Circumstances mean that I will not be seeing my children everyday like I have been used to, getting them up in the morning, making them lunch, walking them to school, picking them them up from school, making dinner, telling them bedtime stories.

The oldest understands the dynamics of the situation but younger two will be hurt and confused. I am worried about myself as well. I am not the most happy go lucky person and the new reality of being apart from my children for extended periods of time will be hard to bear. Not to mention being alone and in unfamiliar surroundings during Christmas, which I always found to be a bittersweet holiday.

I wish I could cry those tears now and get them out of the way. I have tried to prepare myself for the emotional impact but how?

Yesterday after a particularly exhausting day at my part time job I hit the grocery store to make sure I had something for dinner this evening and to get a few more school lunch supplies. Christmas music was already playing, cutting through the usual saccharine pap was Darlene Love singing her 1963 hit, Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) I almost lost it and started to sob as I pushed my cart around the store.


OK here are a few more Xmas tear jerkers and wrist slitters to get out of the way and I promise I won't re-post them.

Ravonettes: 

Judy Garland:

Ravonettes again with Come On Santa, because these guys know black melancholy....enjoy


 OK cats and kittens hope you all had a good cry and feel a little better now. 

Love

April

PS. Yes that is the beautiful Jayne Mansfield trimming the tree.