Dizzy Miss Lizzie

Feeling a little woozy this morning. Stayed up very late working on my Oldsmobile Toronado. Coffee stat!

I decided to reinstall the interior in my Toronado and not stop till I was done. I usually only have an hour or two spare on weekends and didn't want to drag the job out over the next few weeks. Also the Lincoln needs a new RH manifold exhaust gasket and may be out of commission for a few days. Started the job at 9:30PM and finished at 3:00 AM all work performed outside.

Installed everything from the headliner to the carpet and everything in between. The car now has its red plush buttoned velour seats and door panels again. Still a few bolts and screws to find homes for but all the grunt work is done. Next job change the oil and lube the chassis.

Why was the interior out? The power sun roof or Astroroof in GM speak was leaking somewhere, the water eventually pooling in the passenger foot wells….after it poured down the back of your neck. Multiple leaks were found but everything had to come out to locate them.

The one major problem was that the rear slider assembly on the sun roof broke so the roof will remain inoperable till I find another one. Certainly an obsolete part as the Oldsmobile Division is no more and the sun roof manufacturer ASC has also passed into the history books. Finding a new or even a used one will be a quest on par with finding the Grail.

So what have I learned, obviously I need more cars (joking). Actually I forgot how much time I used to spend on my cars, hours EVERY night and weekend. It is time that I can no longer afford and the masculine identity reinforcement that such work provided is no longer necessary.

Hugs,

April

Here are the prolific garage favorites Thee Milkshakes with the title of this post:

I Love Rock n' Roll

I had a real bad day yesterday at work and to top it all off I was contacted by our version of the IRS looking for more tax money. I could go on and on but I won’t.

Instead of being miserable I am going to focus on some positive things, I got to go out on Saturday night (and again Sunday), doctor yesterday raised my hormone level and I think I can actually see some facial changes. Also the dead hairs from the last laser session continue to come out a pace.

I had been looking forward to an evening out for a while with girlfriends Ashley and Natasha. It is a rare occasion when all three of us can get together. The HOPE event at the Carrigan Arms was not as well attended as the last time but it was still a lot of fun and we were able to all sit down.

I had been pre-warned about Natasha’s gorgeous off the shoulder number so I needed something different. My wife found me a very cute red dress that had a definite sixties retro feel. Paired with a pair of silver three inch heels and very daring for November no nylons.

I even danced! I think the photo is of me getting in the spirit of Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock n' Roll”. Lots of contemporary dance stuff, some vintage seventies disco but no Ramones like the last time.

Later we went to another pub for a quiet drink (diet coke for me) and chatted some more.

On Sunday I met Natasha and Marissa in Hamilton for coffee then came home and ended up staying up too late watching episode three of the Walking Dead.

The opportunity to get out in different environments seems to build my confidence each time.

Hugs,

April

Envy

There is a reason envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It is an unfortunate character trait I have seen in myself before.

Envy (Latin, invidia) in Dante's Purgatory is punished by having ones eyes sewn shut with wire because you have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought low. I prefer St. Thomas Aquinas’ description of envy as "sorrow for another's good".

I know from where this weed grows, it is the frustration over the pace of my own transition. It is what keeps from venturing back to various forums as I tend to judge my own progress against others. When I find progress lacking I lapse into depression. When you want to go full time, when you feel yourself ready any delay becomes unbearable.

I have a good friend who is poised to enter the fast track of transition. She is less encumbered by ties to her male life than I. For her it is not a matter of overcoming a series of obstacles but of when.

Irrationally I feel that I should be first, that she is usurping my role. The situation fills me with envy and yes anger. I feel terrible for thinking this way, which just makes it worse.

I am trying to turn my envy into a positive energy, to strengthen my resolve and to take action to make my own transition happen as soon as possible. And of course to wish my friend well and give her all the support I can.

Hugs,

April

Diana Dors' Cars

Diana Dors was Britain’s answer to Marilyn Monroe. Besides being a blonde bombshell she seems to have had great taste in cars. In 1954 the rising star bought a used car but oh what a car it was, a 1949 Delahaye bodied by Saoutchik in the prewar art deco style of French coachbuilders. The voluptuous baby blue Delahaye had a nautical theme inspired the narwhal whale, the unicorn of the seas.

Diana and her husband did not keep the Delahaye long trading it in on a new Cadillac convertible. I also found a photo of her standing beside a British registered 59 Cadillac….the perfect car for any movie star. I swear that is a Riley behind the police officers right shoulder.

The restored Delahaye recently sold for $3 million.

The great "Another Nickel in the Machine" blog about historic London has an interesting story on Ms. Dors:

http://www.nickelinthemachine.com/2009/06/caxton-hall-in-westminster-and-the-marriage-of-diana-dors-to-dennis-hamilton/

Hugs,

April

Lest We Forget

They went with songs to the battle, they were young.
Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

I particulary like in Flanders Field written by Canadian Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae during the First World War. Some may see the last line as jingostic but WE must remember that all the freedoms we enjoy and those that are only now being recognized flow from their sacrifice on the alter of democracy.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing,

flyScarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead.

Short days ago We lived,

felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie,

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

April

The image is of the Vietnam Women's Memorial in Washington

McDuesenbergs, Teenage Head and Rogue Orthodontists

If that is not a cryptic blog title I don’t know what is.
Had the morning off as a partial vacation day in order to watch my youngest daughter while my wife had important meetings to co-ordinate.

Worked on an article due Friday wearing casual April wear, just jeans, bra, cami and sweater, then a pleasant drive to work in the noon sun with the windows down, heater on as it is November in the new world and of course the music playing.

Had the local university radio station on and caught a radio show that matched by own peculiar taste in music (rockabilly/surf/punk). They played a track by Teenage Head one of the original Canadian punk bands. Named after the 1971 Flamin’ Groovies album. A local band I am sad to say I never had the opportunity to see in their prime. The lead singer Frankie Venom, what a great name, passed away recently. Below is a rare TV appearance of them performing Lets Shake from the Frantic City album.

The Lincoln drove well and the roads were quiet so I had a smooth run up to work with the cruise control set on 65 mph. Too bad gas was 1.08 per liter, I am sure that sounds cheap to you girls in the UK but just remember I am driving a 460 cubic inch V8 owww.

McDuesenberg was a pejorative name thrown at the baroque Lincoln Continentals. Just like McMansion for the oversized suburban palaces that are replacing all the post war ranches. Actually I like the name. The designer of the Mark IV Wes Dahlberg interviewed I the eighties said that they really were trying to build a modern day Duesenberg like classic.

"The grille was sort of like the Rolls-Royce, but we did not copy it directly. We were trying for the look of many of the great classics if they were to be built in 1972 -- not necessarily the Duesenberg, but all of them. We wanted a clean look and simplicity.

I love neo-classic styling on early seventies cars, Lincoln Continentals, Cadillac Eldorado, the Stutz Blackhawk etc.

A dance to go to on Saturday night oh what to wear when girlfriends tell me about all the great outfits they have lined up….I feel like Cinderella with no fairy godmother.

Just found out my orthodontist is retiring suddenly, darn I liked him plus I still had a procedure to go. He was really odd is an Eastern European mad scientist kind of way, pleasant enough and not too expensive. I will miss him, I wonder what happened. I imagine some terrible scandal.

Hugs,

April

"Meet the new boss/Same as the old boss".

I met with an old boss the other evening to discuss maybe coming to work for him. I am interested in the opportunity but being a young company there are some risks. There are definite benefits too. A big plus is that I could work from home, allowing more time for children, less after school day care dollars and almost as important more time spent as April in preparation for going full time.

The offer is not set in stone but if it materializes I would be inclined to accept because I CANNOT transition in my current job. The old boss has always struck me as a live and let live kinda guy and at least the possibility of acceptance is there.

If we get to a firm offer I was seriously considering telling him about me first. Initially this struck me as a good idea, fast track to full time etc… After speaking with my wife and a little more reflection it may well be better to wait. An admission that I am Trans and will transition on the job may well put the kibosh on the deal.

Instead, if I come on board I will work like a demon to make the company a success and after six months or a year assuming I have not made a mess of things tell him that I am transitioning.

The period up to then can be put to good use living part time as April, working on my voice and getting everything ready for going full time. I am still impatient though! I wish I could start a new job as April tomorrow.

Super long day yesterday, after the meeting I drove him home then headed home switched vehicles and did the grocery shopping at midnight. Thank goodness for 24 hour supermarkets. I staggered around like a zombie checking items off my shopping list. Drove home, unloaded then into bed by 2:00 AM up four hours later to start all over again. Yawwwnnnn.

Hugs,

April