Sunday I went to church, the first time as April. The children were in the nativity pageant and asked that I be there. It is "J's" place of worship and previously I only attended for Easter and Christmas services.
We were both a little uncertain about April making her debut but it went well and neither of us noticed any weird looks. The children's presentation was so cute, Joseph and Mary, wise men, angel, sheppard's and sheep and even hybrid angel sheep.
After the service there was coffee and cookies in the hall, despite not wanting to expose myself any more than I had too the siren call of caffeine won out and I ventured into the gathered multitude.
A few knew about me but most didn't. The children were sitting with friends and "J" was nowhere to be found so I sat down by myself. Within a minute a very nice lady joined me. Had I been there before, hmm a difficult question, I eventually settled on no. We had a conversation about her trips to Italy and Egypt and last minute gift shopping. She even introduced me to "J".
Needless to say I was very happy to have passed and on cloud nine for the rest of the day.
Today's tune is Florence Ballard, the true voice of the Supremes singing Oh Holy Night. Her tough life and mistreatment by Motown lends the song even greater poignancy.
Photos, a) 1965 Supremes in London, love Flo's coat
b) Flo and husband at their home in Detroit with a 68 Eldorado
I hope you are still with me after those Ravonettes posts, "J" told me to stop playing such depressing Christmas music. I have something a little more up tempo but somewhat homicidal as my seasonal offering today.
Lots to do on my Lincoln but too cold to do any work outside. I think I will have to put the Seville on the road as I don't really trust anyone to work on the Mark and break things except for me. I am also a lot cheaper and don't charge extra for screwing things up.
Off to the bank to renegotiate the mortgage today, "J" knew exactly what she wanted so I felt rather useless and was so embarrassed to have to say I had been laid off when the banker asked had my salary changed. Oh yea plus the added stress of meeting someone for the first time as April.
She said don't be depressed you are living the dream, staying at home and watching the children, guess it is all in how you look at it. Nevertheless I still want a new job.
Anyone who reads this blog know I love the Ravonettes, a Danish duo who combine a fifties/sixties feel with a dark modern sound. They released a four track Christmas EP in 2008, here are my two favourites.
Be warned their music is hypnotic and beautiful but really a bit of a downer (death, suicide, obsession) so make sure you haven't skipped your meds.
What a week, seemed to have escaped injury by a hair's breadth, slipped on the stairs and fell badly into the basement (you should see the bruise on my hip…or not), smashed my head into the sharp corner of the stoves range hood, the Lincoln (and the children and I) were almost hit by an 18 wheeler making a wide turn.
The Ravonettes, Christmas Song is the 2001 version, the 2011 is nice too but a little too precious.
Hugs,
April
(Betty image thanks to http://photobombshell.blogspot.com/)
I have always found the Christmas season at bit melancholy, the celebrations tinged with sadness for those who are no longer with us and the fleeting nature of the peace and fellowship even the "grinchiest" of us feel.
I always cry when watching A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas eve.
This Christmas will be the last for us as an intact family and next year will be even tougher. But Christmas is also about hope for a new start, this year my first as April. So as we countdown the days to Christmas as I know my children are doing I plan to post a new Christmas tune each day.
First up to bat is my guy Billy Fury, revered in the UK but unfortunately not so well known in North America. Here is his only Christmas offering:
I seem to have slipped into a bad habit of falling asleep after I have put the children to bed then waking up still dressed, makeup on and contacts in at midnight. Then I will return to the computer and work or e-mail or just futz around for an hour or two.
This means my sleep patterns are all messed up and I wake up tired. A side effect are some rather weird dreams most of which disappear like ill remembered phantoms once I have had that first cup of coffee.
Some are trans related, reflecting concerns about being read or last night dreaming I was stealth then outed at work.
Or in other cases the convoluted fantasies of my own pop culture obsessions. I dreamed I was a Hollywood producer trying to explain why I green lighted an Elvis movie (GI Blues) directed by Ed Wood featuring the cast of Le Carrousel in Paris with music written by Hasil Adkins and Delores Fuller.
For those of you with a more normal taste in movies and music I will save you the trouble and will provide links to explain why those elements would have made it the best movie ever!
Le Carrousel: April Ashley top middle and a rare shot of Coccinelle with black hair, Amanda Lear with short dark hair to the right of Kiki Moustic.
Elvis needs no introduction of course, except to say that he must be of extraterrestrial origin as no one from this planet could be that cool.
Ed Wood was the director of some of the worst or best grade Z movies ever made (think Plan 9 from Outer Space). He was also a confirmed cross dresser who made the film Glen or Glenda to explain his obsession and to capitalize on the story of trans woman Christine Jorgensen.
Ed Wood: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Wood
Also check out the bio pick starring Johnny Depp, highly recommended.
Le Carrousel inParis was a very popular club that featured the top acts in female impersonation, many of the girls going on to have SRS with pioneering surgeon Dr. Georges Burou. Their number included Coccinelle, April Ashley, Amanda Llear (though she denies it), Bambi and many more.
Paris seemed so romantic in the fifties, I wish I could have seen it then. I did visit as a child and retuned a few years ago for work.
(above; Amanda Lear, Coccinelle and below Bambi)
Hasil Adkins was a West Virgina mountain man and rockabilly legend who specialized in the most primitive rockabilly ever stamped onto vinyl. A lack of commercial success never deterred him and was eventually discovered in the eighties by a wider audience. His demented She Said was even covered by the Cramps.
http://hasiladkins.com/biography.php
Dolores Fuller was Ed Woods girlfriend and co star in Glen or Glenda and Jail Bait, inexplicably going on to write songs for some of Elvis movies in the sixties, including Do the Clam and Steppin out of Line…the first even covered by the Cramps.
Really truth is stranger than fiction. Another Elvis connection apparently he did meet April Ashley while on leave in Paris, at least according to her, a possibility but a picture would be nice.
So I hope I have contributed to your cultural corruption and no I have not been hitting the eggnog to hard before bed.
Sorry no earth shattering insights into being transsexual just a post about the boring stuff I did today.
Had a set of "car show" tires that came with my Corvette but they were too dried out and cracked to be safe for use. I finally got my act together and took them to the dump…after getting all the collected rain water out of them. Since it has been below freezing most of it came out in solid form. Did you know you can fit four full size tires in the trunk of a 76 Buick Electra and not even have to take out the spare?
Normally I would not get dressed up to dispose of junk but I also had to drop by my old employer (the job I left voluntarily because I knew they would not accept me transitioning) to collect a formal record of employment. I had them leave it with reception as they don't know about me "yet". Not that I care that much now.
Although they had not seen my Electra I was worried they would recognize it as just the type of car "he" used to drive. They would remember the Cadillac and the Lincoln so I left them at home. I forgot my sunglasses so I couldn't play international woman of mystery. "J" at reception was as completely unflappable as I remember her. A little disappointed she recognized me but did say I had nice legs.
I didn't stop by to say hello to anyone else as it is not that much of a friendly place and by no means did I want to run into my old boss.
Made it home by three no thanks to traffic to pick up the children after school and make dinner. So ends my exciting day, really I just wanted to share this picture with you, despite the shadow across my face I really like it.
I heard from World of Wheels magazine, they commissioned a story on rust proofing, yes money.
So what colour did I choose…bright red!
Well Christmas is fast approaching and despite being out of work I feel a little bit of the Christmas spirit trying to displace my inner Scrooge. Here is The Creepshow's version of The Ramones, Merry Christmas Baby, I Don't Want to Fight Tonight, great rocking version with a supercharged Buddy Holly feel.
I had a post complete with photo, graphics and a song already to go but I decided not to use just yet. I wrote it feeling very angry with the world but I feel a little better now. I will save it when I am totally pissed off again, you likely won't have to wait that long.
Sorry about the photo I know it is out of focus...I was in a rush.
Winter is almost upon us, in this part of Southern Ontario we have been spared the indignity of any meaningful snow fall. Instead we have had a few blustery days and light overnight dusting that disappear with the coming dawn. Each little appearance of snow is like a blackmailers letter cut up from random words in the newspaper, an ominous threat of trouble to come.
I am behind in preparing my fleet of cars (collector or hoarder…I will leave it for the reality shows to decide) for winter duty and for others storage. The Corvette finally ran for shelter in my mother's garage (thanks mom!!!), the Electra is booked in for rust proofing next week and the storage. The Lincoln has a somewhat quieter exhaust, still needs more work, new alternator and may yet require a tune up in the form of plugs, wires, cap and rotor. Nevertheless she is moving on her own now.
So as you can tell I have been spending more time on the cars than I have in quite a few months, including visiting parts stores, re builders and running into "fellow" enthusiasts. Despite trying hard to avoid it working on vintage cars means getting dirty. I wear girl jeans, t shirt, guys work shirt winter jacket etc. As I explained earlier on in this blog, the time spent on cars was the only period where I was not consumed by thoughts of gender dysphoria. Ironic now that when I have spent some quality time with my Detroit born children I fell too male. I actually asked "J" today if I looked any different..less female… such was my paranoia.
Perhaps it was just the clothes…haha
Took the Lincoln for a quick spin and pulled into a parking lot to check the idle speed, I was approached by a guy who wanted to know all about the car. Turns out he was a big Ford fan. I spoke freely and didn't hide my knowledge of cars, did he read me, didn't seem to be any indication but then again Canadians are known to be awfully polite. Same thing happened two weeks ago with the Buick, that time I was positive I passed but they guy didn't clearly know what to make of a woman so into cars.
Slow on the job front, more resumes to get out.
I informed the car magazine that I write for as a freelancer about my name and gender change. They were very nice and had no problem with a new byline. The last two articles I wrote were published under my old name, next months will be the first as April. If you are in Canada check out your news stand for World of Wheels, I am sure you can guess which are my stories.
Off to do something feminine, like paint my nails metal flake pink, now that would make a cool colour for a 72 Mark IV.
Here is Joey Ramone with a great tune I have been blasting all week, sure to put a smile on your face. And the equally infections Dahlmanns tribute.
