Oh but we are the playthings of fortune. I have been reluctant to update the blog as I have been down in the dumps. But dear reader you get me for better or worse.
It seems a cruel joke that having finally found a position that will accept me I am in danger of loosing my job. A major client has not paid and the company is in danger of running out of operating capital and hence my predicament.
I cannot bear the thought of looking for another job, who will hire me (a freak) , I will have to cut my hair (I cannot tell you how loath I am to contemplate this), postpone transition. Do I transition anyway, I fear my job prospects starting out as April will be next to nil.
Or just take the easy road of societal acceptance and remain male, anesthetize myself with cars and antidepressants
It is not to say that these things must come to pass but it is too close to call.
Well that certainly sucks!
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry that this is happening to you. You'll be in my thoughts, and my hopes that the client does pay up and things work out for the best.
Get that chin up. You are a human being just like everybody else, trangendered? So what. You will get a job based on what you can do and not what you are - It would be very shallow to think otherwise. You are experiencing what others in your very position experience and it will take time to come to terms with the fact that it is you who thinks you are a freak and not others.
ReplyDeleteI wish you good fortune...
:Dylan
Let's hope the worst does not happen. But I agree this seems to be a very cruel stroke.
ReplyDeleteLucy
I know only too well the fears that you have dear freind. Losing a good job, trying to find another in this market, and contemplating whether or not to cut the lovely hair that helps to identify whom we are.
ReplyDeleteWorrying about things that has not yet occured is harmfull to the body and soul. Trying to remain positive while keeping your goals insight can be difficult. However, by doing this it gives us the one thing that is needed to keep our sanity in tact.
Every day is a gift! Be thankful for what you have now for tomorrow may never come.
Meaning.... Keep your chin up girl friend!!!
Everything will work itself out!
Hi April,
ReplyDeleteDo not despair, I am still praying for you and your job and your family. The power of the Lord is mightier than we. Not trying to preach, just telling it like I see it. This is what I believe in, and I am going to use it. All us girls out here need all the help we can get, and there isn't any better help than the Lord.
Always in prayer,
Hugs,
Cynthia