My recovery seems to be going well and I am following my dilation routine to the letter as Dr. Brassard recommended. My times during the day are not consistent but I get in three required sessions.
On the home front things are less rosy. Divorce will soon be finalized and I will have to vacate our home for the last fifteen or so years. J and children to stay in family home. Employment is still an issue and my writing doesn’t generate a steady income. Wherever I end up I will be seeing a lot less of my children about which I am extremely upset.
My emotions have been on the raw side this last week and I have found myself sobbing at the most ridiculous things.
I had been watching an old British sitcom called Hi De Hi about a fictional Butlin's like holiday camp during the late fifties. The series focuses on the camp staff and ran for nine seasons. The other day I caught the very last episode on You Tube. In the final episode the staff learn the camp will not open next season and their little family is cast to the winds.
I think I cried for thirty minutes at the bittersweet conclusion, seeing parallels to my own situation, silly no?
watch it here;
A real Butlin's commercial:
It's not silly at all, sweetie. You are enduring a difficult time, and a time of enormous change. You MUST allow yourself to process your emotions. Good for you for doing so.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of how strong and resilient you have been in the face of challenges that would have overwhelmed a lesser person. And you will continue to do so, hon. I know it. When things pick up - and they ARE going to pick up - you will begin reaping the rewards you so richly deserve.
Be well, sis. I love you.
Hugs and love,
Cass
I'm sorry about the divorce and having to move out. I hope that you still get to see you children quite a bit though.
ReplyDeleteI think its good that you're dealing with your emotions, it can't be good to bottle things up, says the girl that does that a fair bit.
I used to watch Hi De Hi when it was on. It was such a great show. Lots of interesting characters and the relationships between them was always interesting.
I've got lots of fond memories of holidays at Butlin's, we used to go to the ones at Barry Island (South Wales) and also the one in Pwllheli (North Wales) during the factory fortnight.
i am sooooo sorry about you having to move out. but my neighbor has just finalized his divorce (at his wifes requesdt and he is not transgendered ) he too must leave his home that he has but much labor into even though he retains half ownership for the next several years.
ReplyDeleteit doesn't seem fair. the irony is she doesn't care if she moves but must stay in state due the the children and he who wants to stay, is a good father and provider and verrrry handy and is still half owner of the house must move. weird. ya got to wonder if the judges and mediators REALLY truly see the full situation or just rule on an overloaded schedule!
my mother who was an RN used to say that crying is important as similar to the importance of sleep as that is how the body rids itself of all the toxins.
verbalizing it and leaning on good friends is also verrry important to being able to reach a point of healing.
take on if possible one challenge at a time (as in one day or even if need be one nano second at a time)
good luck my friend and i know you will get through this as well.
Big hugs to you. You're going through a lot and I wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that you are you now and no one can take that away. Each day will seem just a bit easier.
Good luck
Caroline
Thanks everyone! Working hard to accept the inevitable and to find success.
ReplyDeleteJenna that is really cool that you went to Butlin's!