On top of this, literally the same day, I find out in a text
from my ex that she is now dating an old “friend” of mine. She has every right
to move on with her life but it is the old “friend” part of the equation that
stings.
Once again I had to go to work and put on my happy face for
co-workers and customers that was hard too.
So I am here writing this post when I should be sleeping but
sleep wont come nor do I expect it to.
My toe isn't throbbing constantly and I can get around in a limping sort of way so long as I keep my weight off the big toe and balance on my heel.
A co-worker remarked that they had missed me and I almost cried.
The first two days I was functioning normally but on the third the disruption of my sleep patterns really started to take a toll.
The lack of sleep manifested itself in anger. Wrath seems to be one of my personal seven deadly sins right behind envy.
I do have flashes of self awareness and I realize that the root of feelings comes not only from sleep deprivation but the stress I have been under. An element of which has been the promise of a career position. (oh to return to the rat race and once again to be real person in the eyes of others). I am on the short list but the waiting is killing me and everyday that goes by I despair of ever getting a "real" job.
As you dear constant reader may remember I broke my big toe by dropping Corvette t roofs on my foot.
So my right foot along with the rest of my apparently healthy body is restricted to the couch. After I binged watched the latest season of Orange is the New Black I started to loose my mind....its only been three days!
the horror...the horror
I guess I have been so busy the last few months enforced rest was not at all welcome. Never mind that if I can't work I don't get paid. I can't even work on my Stutz restoration project.
Today I am with my daughters making grilled cheese sandwiches and driving them to the library, being very careful of right foot and braking with the left.
I have been a little naughty and brought the Stutz's seized windshield wiper motor along. Sitting down I managed to disassemble it and clean out all the rust. Seems that Stutz designed the space where the wiper motor sits beneath the cowl without a drain. The motor had clearly been submersed in water at some time in the past and stopped working.
The wiper motor is Italian made by Magneti Marelli. (the car was coachbuilt by Padane in Modena on a Pontiac chassis and uses a variety of Maserati and Ferrari components. I believe a modern replacement is still available but somewhat expensive in North America so I am hoping a little elbow grease and ingenuity will get the original working.
What I was upset about was that the chrome windshield wiper trim pieces were missing. In fact I hadn't seen them since the car was disassembled back in 2006. I had an idea that Stutz used Alfa Romeo parts judging by the wiper motor assembly but they could also be unique to the car. As only twenty six 1971 Stutzs were built replacement trim items are nonexistent.
Poking my nose into a few boxes I had searched fruitlessly before I came across a clear plastic bag with all the missing trim pieces!!!!
Ah the bitch goddess of vintage cars can be merciful....too bad about the toe.
Since we have been talking windshield wipers here is a really wet song Dion and the Belmonts...
all dressed for work, any color you want so long as its black
Canada Day (July 1st) was the first anniversary of my surgery. Despite predictions of rain Southern Ontario enjoyed a hot summer day.
It was made even better as I was able to pick up my daughters that morning and bring them back to my "home" where we had a early birthday celebration for my oldest.
My good friend Julie decorated the house with red and white bunting and did the cooking. Reese's peanut butter chocolate cake!
We all went on a hike along the Bruce trail to a hidden waterfall where we waded barefoot up a stream cooling our tired feet.
Later we raced slot cars, watched a movie and had a water balloon fight. A wonderful and memorable day and yes I cried when they went home.
It is a weird time right now as I wait to hear about a career position in the city, things look positive but I have been disappointed too many times before.
My part time retail job keeps me hopping....well literally now as the other day I managed to drop a box containing two glass and steel Corvette T-roofs on my right foot. OMG the pain, the end of the box came open and the t roofs slid out (they are very very heavy). The next day I went to the hospital and an x-ray reveled that I had broken my big toe. It is hideous purple and swollen as I sit here type this post, and throbs like a.... well you get the idea.
Lucky the roofs didn't guillotine all my toes off. No cast or boot, just rest and comfy shoes. I am back at work on Saturday and I am not sure what to tell them. I have a note from the doctor requesting desk work but I really have no choice but to be on my feet. I am concerned I will be dismissed.
The above photo is pre accident. At work we have to wear black, good thing it is my favourite color (notice I spelled color sans the U in tribute to our American cousins....it is the glorious fourth after all). Dresses and bare legs are the exception as the AC in the store is so cold nylons and long sleeves are a better choice.
My Seville and Lincoln Mark IV in downtown Hamilton.
Both sides of the 49th parallel are experiencing some tough times right now, it is hard to keep hope alive but sometimes it is all we have. My faith has been tested but America is still the shining city upon a hill, thanks for giving me all the things I love...
Against Me played in Toronto this week as part of World Pride and I was lucky to be there.
You all no doubt have heard of Laura Jane Grace's transition and the band's new album.
She and the band put on a great show, though I prefer my punk more in the Ramones style.
The album Transgender Dysphoria Blues has some very powerful lyrics though I think a song from her earlier career called Pretty Girls is more poignant in retospect.
It is hard enough to transition in our own little spotlight. To do so in the glare of the 21st century media boggles the mind.
That one of us can tell our story is something I am thankful for.
This year Toronto hosts World Pride, I had never been to any aspect of the pride celebration before. When I worked downtown in a previous life I would come into to work Monday morning the streets still strewn with multi-coloured confetti.
I don't really consider myself a member of the LGBTQ world but that is no excuse to join in the party.
I had a good job interview in the city the other day and was still high on the possibility of a new job in the marketing field. It was time for a little celebrating.....it is also almost a year since my surgery.
I met up with friends on Church Street for coffee then over to an alternative club called the Bovine Sex Club (calm down Cassidy)....as you can see from the photo it was really alternative....loved the white Maleficent in attendance.
The club had an open air patio on the roof where my friends and I met some amazing cis and trans girls from across the province and even from the States.
I was a little worried about my rather short dress alerting people that I was not always female. Then again it is pretty hard to pass amongst gay guys and other trans men and women in attendance.
On leaving the club we stumbled across this cool 1963 Cadillac convertible.....wish I could add it to my fleet.
Here are the Dollyrots with a mash up of the Doo Run Run and I Wanna Be Sedated
Picture is from my friend Genni's pub which now seems to feature a TARDIS....
as Inspector Space Time would say, it is not a question of where this photo was taken but when...(totally geeky Community reference sorry).
So what else have I been doing besides messing up the space/time continuum. Working, looking for a better job, restoring my Stutz Blackhawk (subject of a future post). On Sunday I traveled to my father's to pick up my Lincoln Mark IV that had been in storage since December. I had sprayed all the chrome with a light rust proofing oil to prevent corrosion. Although the car was under a cover the oil had attracted and killed a few million midges (tiny flies that are found by Lake Ontario). The chrome wheels were black with them!
After tanking up with some dino juice the next stop was a high pressure car wash.....no flies on me...
Today I had her in for an alignment and much needed replacement of the pitman arm, which was causing the steering to be very vague. Rather worrying when piloting a five thousand pound car around a highway on ramp at speed.
