Rose of England

I have since my teens considered my spiritual home the United States. It was the first place my parents and I set foot in the New World. Getting off a ship in New York like countless immigrants before them. I studied American history at university, follow US politics closely and have made my pilgrimage to the battlefields of the Civil War.

As a child we would take long driving vacations across the American west (where we would drive and drive, then drive some more….sorry an inside family joke). I loved those trips and fell in love with the history and the land.

I grew up in Canada (where I still live and am thankful I do) and spent a number of years at school in England, the land of my birth. I believe I can even claim to be a true Cockney, having been born within the sound of Bow Bells. At school my “accent” marked me as a Yank and by default I was often called upon to defend American foreign policy. So just as in matters of gender, I was equally confused as to my nationality.

It is a difficult time for the West as the impermeable Cold War world of my youth continues to change and mutate. The freedoms we enjoy are constantly under threat from within and without. As a history buff we would do well to remember where we come from and the rich traditions that made both nations the light and envy of the world.

In that spirit let me share some personal British ancestral history, both examples involving some fancy foot work.

One Madame Sismondi, ballet mistress and co-founder of the original Tiller Girls in the 1890s. The Tiller girls were a famous high kicking dance troupe that was in existence until the eighties also a big influence on the Rockettes.

Dutch Sam and Young Dutch Sam. A member of the International Boxing Hall of Fame, Dutch Sam (1775 – 1816) came from the Whitechapel area of London. Nicknamed “The Star of the East” as well as the less politically correct, “The Terrible Jew”, what he liked bacon sandwiches?

Inventor of the uppercut with a history of approximately 100 bouts, losing only twice, at the time most boxers fought 20-25 matches in a career. His power was legendary and he was considered one of the hardest hitters of all time.

His son, Young Dutch Sam, was also a good puncher and very exciting fighter, had a noteworthy career in the 1820s.

My brother brought this tune to my attention, Resistance 77 with Spirit of St. George. I love it, makes me want to buy a Jensen Interceptor and drive down the high street to get some fish & chips.




Hugs,

April

City in Ruins

I have not written much about cars lately and all two of you must be wondering what the heck is going on. The cold weather prevents much pottering and limits one to necessary repairs only.

The Toronado keeps soldering on as it has four the past four winters. The really freezing weather prior to Christmas resulted in a jammed driver’s door. Turned out it was the lock cylinder. Hope to replace it this weekend (weather permitting) might also take the chance to put on the “new” driver’s side door handle I have been hording. The Toronado had unique blade style door pulls and after thirty plus years the pot metal internals wear and become all floppy.

Also need to change the front pads soon…pray for a warm spell.

Detroit in Ruins: http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2011/jan/02/detroit-ruins-marchand-meffre-photographs-ohagan

These guys are a little late to the party as other people have documented the city’s plight much better. Check out the Detroit Blog, http://www.detroitblog.org/?p=113

Nevertheless amazing photos. I want to alternately cry or scream when I see these images. Naturally I was always fascinated with the city and have visited many times, even as April.

It seems as if we must currently live in a dystopian alternate reality, in the "real word" Detroit has a population of four million and is building sixteen cylinder Cadillacs.

Here is my proof:

http://deansgarage.com/2010/wayne-kady/

Hugs,

April

First photo is a shot from the Detroit: City on the Move promotional movie, a failed bid for the gain the Olympic games for Motown. Looks like a custom 63 Eldorado at Cobo Hall (?)and no that is not me, how old do you think I am?

You can watch the film here:

http://www.archive.org/details/DetroitC1965

It’s 2011, Choose Your Path

I really want 2011 to be the year! The job hurdle has to be overcome but I feel that I cannot wait any longer, that there is a timetable not of my making. I jealously guard any steps forward and am loath to back track even when it may make sense.

Friends and family remind me that I have made great progress. I know it is true but I still feel stuck. To use a common metaphor, when your bell has rung, now cannot be too soon. To have the veil lifted from your eyes after a lifetime demands an immediate response






Reading A Writer at War: Vasily Grossman with the Red Army. A Christmas present from mom! He was a Soviet era war correspondent but wrote amazingly openly. The reports from Treblinka and the subsequent Russian occupation of Germany are heartbreaking.

http://www.sovlit.com/bios/grossman.html

Felt myself becoming rather depressed last night but managed to keep the black dogs at bay with a search for local head hunters and then an hour on the tread mill.

Jeez all this serious stuff sounding rather Russian myself.

Ok here is a totally guilty pleasure, too bad there isn't a punk version, Oh those Russians....

Hugs,


April

Hair Today...

Got out for coffee with Ashley on Saturday night. Very nice to be out and catch up. No, didn’t get my ears pierced yet, but I will, I promise.

I did however make it to the salon on Thursday after work. It was a near thing as a postponed meeting got in the way and I had to fight traffic and it seemed every red traffic light to get there on time.

Compared to my last attempt to visit to a salon this was one was a great success. The stylist, who was recommended by Ashley, was very nice and open. I showed her some photos and she understood what I wanted to end up with.

I just had a light trim as I am still growing out my hair. On Saturday as I was getting ready I seriously contemplated foregoing the wig. The cut looks more feminine but I feel the longer hair still helps mask male characteristics both physical and subconscious. I am also cursed with pin straight hair that makes it quite hard to disguise a male hairline.

It will be liberating to eventually abandon wigs. I don’t know how long I can continue to grow my hair as potential job interviews may force a no nonsense Don Draper cut if I can’t make my hair look sufficiently neat and masculine.

It was Ashley who showed up without any tonsorial enhancement and she looked great! Very feminine and very natural. Jealous of course but in a good way.

I did make one small advancement in presenting a more natural me, hormones and a flattering bra meant that for the first time I was able to venture out as April without breast forms. I am not quite ready to give them up yet but it does help with my overall confidence.

A little music to dance around like a loony to… while I was out on Saturday I caught the tail end of a Rockabilly radio show on satellite radio. “J” has Sirius in her Chrysler, while I have only the latest in 8-track technology in my Toronado. Anyway despite my vast and excellent musical knowledge I had never heard Kirby St. Romain’s cover of Chuck’s Oh Baby Doll.

Enjoy:




Hugs,

April

End of the Century

The drive in to work this morning was challenging, not snow but fog. At first the fog made the surrounding snow covered countryside look ghost like and immaterial then it swallowed it entirely.

The route I take passes through a construction zone with a number of “S”curves, which are hard enough to navigate in a 19 ft long car in the daytime let alone with only a few feet of visibility.

The strangely peaceful work days between Christmas and New Years are coming to an end and Monday will hit like a ton of bricks. January looks like it will be a busy month.

The long weekend, end of year get togethers and other commitments will likely mean that I will not get out as this week. Trying to keep focused on the job search should keep me from going completely squirrely.

Claire responded to one of my Ramones posts recommending the documentary End of the Century. Its great, stayed up way to late watching it. You can find the whole thing on You Tube, here is part 1:



You have to love Johnny, punk rock Republican. Anyone who says they were for Nixon in 1960 at age ten is just too cool.

Hugs,

April

Little Fears and Pierced Ears

The work days between Christmas and New Year are quiet in the office. Nevertheless I usually set myself up with too many things on my morning to do list.

One thing I have been trying to do today is overcome my fear. The nature of my job has meant that I have had to become comfortable speaking in public and asking other companies for huge amounts of money. I am more reticent selling myself but as a new job is a priority I have to bite the bullet and make those follow up calls.

Other fears I am trying to face down, time for a return trip to the salon, hopefully it will go a little better than the last time. Number two get ears pierced, I am determined to do this even though it makes little sense...what will people say? I think I need some concrete evidence I am moving forward. A little push to get the car back on the right road….

Slept through another alarm, this cold or flu, whatever it is, is making me very groggy come morning. Nothing java can’t cure.

“J” reminded me that I should have added the word expensive in front of “nice gold necklace”. I thought that would have been a given.

Hugs,

April

Eventually

Back at work this Tuesday, the office is quiet and the commute hassle free as most people (retail) excepted seem to be off on holiday still.

I had a nice quiet Christmas spent close to home, the children were soundly spoiled between us and grand parents. Wife “J” bought me a very nice gold necklace and a jewelry box.

Far too cold for any car work, checked tire pressures and fixed a burned out tail light bulb, which was all the cold my fingers could take.

Any holiday depression was confined to Sunday. I had spent all Christmas day as April so a return to male mode on the Monday put me in the doldrums. It is such a psychological high to be oneself that any return to the false armor of maleness becomes an unbearable low.

Still 2011 beckons with the promise of hope and change (hmmm might make a good campaign slogan). Before 2010 is consigned to the dustbin of history all of us who enjoy the hard won gifts of democracy should be thankful for the accident of our birth. No, not that we were born the wrong gender but that we have the freedom to do something about it.

Chinese poem: “Waiting for you to come”
I waited for you the other day,
But you did not come.
Knowing that you would not come,
I only hoped that you would come.
Until now, you still haven’t come,
Yet I am still hoping that you could come.
Eventually, you will come,
And I will always wait for you to come.
(1989.12)

beijingdoll.wordpress.com


Hugs,

April