Greetings cats and kittens, the weather continues to be siberian in its intensity but we soldier on.
work outfit, any colour you want as long as it is black, luckily black is both my favourite colour and the colour of my aura
I have been focusing more on my career job search than dating and although success in either promises happiness I know how deeply I want to be in a real relationship.
This is a quick post as I have two resumes to get out this evening.
Despite the weather, I have not experienced the crushing depression that had me in its grip since well before Christmas. But lets not count our chickens before they hatch, I am celebrating this small victory and hoping it will last.
Perhaps only Cassidy at Cassidy's Quest knows how awful the last few months have been for me and who helped me get through it.
In the spirit of celebrating small victories, happiness is a full gas tank
and a 1UZ-FE to turn all that yummy crushed dino juice into power and global warming. Local Petro Canada had run out of regular gasoline so I was able to fill up on high test at regular prices! woot woot!!!
Sometimes the best rockabilly is Italian rockabilly...
I recently returned to a dating site and so far I have had offers for casual sex, fake profiles (eighties era photos), Benin nationals (its besides Nigeria) and finally someone asking if I was an escort.
I don't know whether to be offended or flattered by the last question....
I was feeling very positive about a follow up interview with a software company in Toronto. Won't know anything till March or April. They must like me as this is my fourth visit!!!
driving back from interview on the 401 highway
It was interesting as only a few minutes into what turned into a two plus hour meeting, the president says how at ease and personable I am compared with my last visit. It was like "I had become more comfortable in my own skin". OMG I could have elaborated on that statement! Personally i think it was the red nail polish and matching lipstick....red is a power colour after all.
bathroom interview selfie, I know in this photo the suit is very Marlene Dietrich but I wore with a black skirt and pumps
In my defence on the prior visit I was defending a marketing analysis I had written on a very complex industry. Apparently they really liked what I wrote but I came off as a bit subdued. Yeah I was trying hard to get the job and was still a little worried about passing.
At this point on my journey passing has become less of a concern. I pass in my current job and no one there knows my history. As far as I know no customers have ever read me.
It is amazing to look back and realize that I have not worried about passing for a while, that I can meet new people in either in work or a potential romantic setting and forget that I was ever someone else. It is beginning to feel that who I am now is who I have always been. In a sense that has always been true but now it shows on the outside too and I am finally beginning to realize that.
I worked Valentine's day, spent the evening with my daughters then went home alone. I do want a relationship, I see friends around me finding happiness together and I long for that.
The winter drags on and the promise of spring seems impossibly far away. My vintage cars are in storage so I have no artistic outlet. I went to visit my Stutz the other day, to pay for the next few months of storage and make sure no mice had dared go near her. The goal is to debut the Blackhawk at next years Detroit Autorama....see you there cats and kittens.
Hugs,
April
Here is Dave Edmunds, Never Been in Love, I still have this one cassette
Like an idiot I said I would work today, driveway is shovelled (or one L, shoveled in American English) but Lexus is rear drive and even with snow tires will not get through unplowed neighbourhood streets to get to highway.
ok ok so sue me, I've been lax at posting. Its cold here and my fingers are too numb to type.
The above sketch is a portrait of me by my eleven year old daughter! I think she has captured my enigmatic beauty....LOL
I've got a bunch of photos and junk I have yet too post but need to move a lot of files around. In the mean time enjoy the one guy I always go to when I'm feeling blue, George Formby!
here is a great documentary on the man and his music
but speaking of turkey, check out my fav pop punk band the Dollyrots with a bopping version of Little Eva's 1963 Let's Turkey Trot. The original on the Dimension label went to #20. It was even covered by Jan and Dean and used in the movie Easy Rider.
I don't know what it is but this song is so crazy its brilliant. Enjoy the ear worm....
Added My Road Redux bonus feature, Rita Pavone's French cover from 1965:
Relationships as a woman are complicated, I know it sounds stupid when I write it. I don't think I expected smooth sledding (how is that for a Canadianism). In fact I didn't expect to have any relationships at all.
Simply living as who I was supposed to be was enough for me. But secretly I hoped that I would be able to find someone to spend my new life with.
I have been lucky to have a choice of dates but it seems that all too often I am attracted to people who aren't attracted to me and vice versa. I connected with the Vette driving doctor who broke my heart at Halloween and a few brief texts cast be back into despair. I expected the black wave of depression to wash over me at Christmas, it came a little early.
I had a really tough Monday, long dark night of the soul and all that rot, took a sleeping pill to quiet my mind. Well I'm still here, like Rocky, ready to take more punches, too stupid to know when to quit.
It's not that I'm strong I just have some true friends.
a room with a view, photo above is me trying to do my best forties movie star look
Merry Christmas to all my trans brothers and sisters out there, the bravest of the brave, the ones that never give up and keep on reaching for the stars when we are sitting on our asses in the mud.
2015 is ours for the taking, or in lieu of perhaps just a small south American country
Love you all.
enjoy some zombie Christmas cheer from the Dollyrots:
