Comic Book Heroines

I was sent off to school in the UK so I never developed at taste for American super hero comics, instead I religiously bought Battle Action later transferring my allegiance to the sci-fi title 2000AD. 

English comic books unlike their US counterparts are published weekly and contain a number of serialized stories in each issue. Both titles were rather violent and I believe questions were even asked in parliament about their imagined malign influence. I cant imagine what the problem was, heck look at me I turned out fine.

Both titles offered some great art work and imaginative story lines. 2000AD's most famous character being Judge Dread, In a dystopian post apocalyptic the Judges kept peace by being judge, jury and executioner at the same time. No wonder my political views are ummm right of center....sorry Cass, blame my poor upbringing.

Another favourite from the WWII focused battle Action was Johnny Red, written by Tom Tully and drawn initially by Joe Colquhoun, about a renegade British fighter pilot Johnny 'Red' Redburn flying for the Russians.

I hadn't thought much about my former comic book heroes and heroines until yesterday when I took the children to the library. Wandering around I found an anthology of Johnny Red stories taken from Battle Action comic....I still have a few originals…a blast from my past. I still remembered every story line and image. 

Judge Dread had the more human Judge Cassandra Anderson as his partner. She was part of the Psi Division, which includes all Judges possessing psychic abilities. Can't forget Judge Barbara Hershey who was another Dread sidekick who went on to become Chief Judge….OMG entering geek territory now I fear.

Back to past, Johnny's female counterpart was Nina Petrova (the angel of death), commander of the "Night Witches" an all-female night-bomber squadron.

Surprising looking back how many strong female characters there were in these "boys" comics and it never struck me as odd. 

Hugs and happy reading,

April

Why I'm Pissed Part 2: Chance Enounter at the Foodliner

Sunday was a beautiful day, I had gone into the big city that morning and watched my girls swim in the afternoon.

Late in the day I made a quick run to the supermarket (I like use the archaic 1950s term Foodliner…just sounds so sleek and modern) and ran into a relative I had not seen in two years.

She spotted me first though it took me a heartbeat to recognize her. Caught off guard I experienced the resurrection of some buried and still rather raw feelings.

I admire this person but since my transition she has broken off contact. I kind of understand her reasons for no longer inviting me into her home but I feel hurt that there was no communication by either phone, e-mail or even a time made to meet over coffee.

My reaction was so severe I felt the fight or flight response kick in. I remained polite and she explained her reason for not associating with me. We hugged with vague promises of contact after Montreal. I could not help still feeling like a pariah, an untouchable, a deviant.

I was so angry and embarrassed I could hardly finish my shopping. That evening I had to go for a long walk to burn off all the bad feelings.

Why I'm Pissed: Part 1

I was very excited today, I had a job interview in my field. The job was not as senior as my prior position but I didn't care it was in automotive/marketing, relatively nearby and the pay wasn't bad.

I have been working with a charitable agency that organizes networking sessions, career advice and they set up a mock interview at short notice that went very well.

I headed to the interview this morning well prepared, well dressed and confident.

I was in the interview for an hour and a half. I knew there was some concern that I was over qualified and I came prepared with arguments to put their mind at ease.

Besides HR I also met the president of the company, I believe I passed with both, hopefully without question.

It was at the end of the session that they admitted that the position had been filled yesterday! Although I spent an hour being interviewed for the advertised job they really brought me in to see about a "possible" more senior position "maybe sometime" later in the summer.

I wish that had been made clear at the outset and I would have prepared quite differently and would not have gotten my hopes up for a job that had already been filled.

Despite feeling very upset and disappointed I was professional and on returning home sent off a thank you e-mail and promised to follow up with them in late July.

Right now I am in a bit of a funk and am afraid it will take a while to shake it off and start all over again.

Stay tuned for more whinging in Part 2 tomorrow...

Passing and Lying

I have been attending a weekly networking seminar to help my job search. The purpose is to share leads, job search tips and remain connected to the wider world.  The last part is important, as I seem to spend far too much time at my subterranean desk alternately writing automotive articles and cover letters.

Last week was an interesting first despite being full time for nearly a year and a half.

After the moderated portion of the seminar we split into groups and I found myself in a group of five women.

I am used to passing and generally expect to pass wherever I go (I dont mean to sound big headed, yes I still doubt myself and yes I am still very pleased when I know I pass).  

I knew I was passing in this situation as being all women of a certain age, divorce and separation was the norm and I was asked about my ex-husband and my children. I found it harder and harder to keep my answers gender neutral.  

My continued use of ex and partner seemed to trigger a look in my integrators eyes, “ maybe she is lesbian”. I quickly threw in a he or two to dispel her suspicion. Ironically this is what my ex “J” particularly dislikes, ie being thought of as gay.    

It was flattering to hear her say, “but look at you girl, doesn’t he want to get back together” Ummm I replied, you know people change, some more than others.”

I felt bad about lying but nor was I about to sacrifice hard earned passing and acceptance so easily.

Moral qualms aside it was wonderful to be accepted as unquestionably female in a group of women. Now I do have female friends but all of them know of my past. The vibe was different from anything I had ever experienced.

Photo Shoot In Paris

Sounds wonderful doesn't it?  Paris….Paris, Ontario.

And no it wasn't haute couture either, rather the 8th annual Unfinished Nationals, a car show dedicated to the average car enthusiast to show off their not quite finished car. My friend D remind me of this event last week and I quickly secured my editors approval to cover the event.

All week i watched the weather as substantial rain has plagued us on and off  and more was predicted. Saturday i got absolutely filthy greasing the Lincoln's chassis, checking other vital fluids, tire pressure etc. I also loaded up my seventies Schwinn Stingray bike to display alongside my not quite and likely never will be finished Mark IV. Last minute preparations included doing my nails a cool metallic pink, once I got all the grease out from under them! 

It rained all Saturday night and Sunday morning revealed ominous dark grey clouds interspersed with sunshine. Now I do not mind a little precipitation on my cars but others are more careful and I cannot write and photograph a show (AND GET PAID) if no one else shows up.

So after much hemming and hawing I decided to invest in  the vast quantities of crushed dino juice it would take to get the Lincoln to Paris and back. It was clear sailing on highway 403 but once I got to Paris the heavens opened up and it was like driving through a car wash. By the time I had located the fairgrounds the rain had subsided and I was pleased to see a good turnout of hot rods, customs, muscle cars and classics.

I spent the day snapping pictures, talking to car owners and perusing the swap meet vendors.  One of my favourite stalls was "Out of the Past" which had a tempting display of vintage dresses and rockabilly fashions. I know I was passing…..as a rockabilly chick as the owner calls out hey YOU need to be looking over here.  There were more than a few rockabilly guys and gals checking out the show, each giving the other a slight nod to acknowledge a shared identity.  Passing well in general too I think as most guys were surprised a girl brought her own car to the event.

My outfit for the show was denim shorts, tight black t-shirt (as you can unfortunately tell I still have five pounds to go to get back to my ideal weight) and white wedge sandals. My fav skull earrings and a necklace with a French poodle and Eiffel Tower charms….when in Paris….

Really wanted to take this 1938 Caddy Sixty Special home

flat head V8 

Great DJ playing lots of obscure fifties tunes and a live set by local rockabilly band the GreaseMarks.

http://www.greasemarks.com/

I am pleased to report the Lincoln got some favourable attention and one offer to buy when I was gassing up to go head home.  Even had a chat with a retired gentleman who sold Mark IV and V's new back in the day. 

On the way home, car wash city again. And one last stop, been wanting to take a photo of this ghost Lada dealership for ages…1998 was the last year the little Russian cars were sold in our happy Dominion...mission accomplished. I wouldnt say niet to a 4x4 Lada Niva for next winter.

brought to you by 3CCCP1 TV

Greetings, Comrade!

Wolf Call

It took a good day to finally light a fire under my butt and inspire me to write a new post. Best of all I was on the receiving end of my first wolf whistle.

The other night I fell asleep after a busy weekend with the children and didn't get any work done that evening. I felt really productive today, up at five am to catch up on some freelance work and then attend a networking seminar. Rushed home to review and edit images for an article on the MegaSpeed car show and then run them over to the Metroland publishing offices in Oakville.

I was debating what to wear to the seminar this morning. As I was dropping the children at school, I spied another mom who despite the almost summer like weather had a great all black outfit (my favorite color), pencil skirt, black stockings and pumps.

Inspired I quickly through together my own version of her stylish outfit. I must admit I was worried that the skirt I chose might have been too short….better than too long…am I right! By the way its riding up in the photos.

The Lincoln needed some exercise so I drove it too the seminar (cute Paramedic complimented the lowered Lincoln when I parked next to his ambulance but that is another story). 

Getting some gas I was chagrined and more than a little flattered to get my first wolf whistle!!! Two guys in a delivery truck were the smitten gentlemen. OK I guess this means I am not a feminist at heart but I would be lying if I said it didn't make my day and so deliciously retro to boot.

 Two versions of the song Wolf Call from the Elvis movie Girl Happy:

Rockabilly Rebel

Its is so darn sunny outside even a pessimist like me cannot remain in bad mood forever. 

It was at boarding school in the UK when I first heard the Matchbox hit that  cemented my taste in music. 

I would say that Rockabilly is still the centre of my musical universe but like demented planets spinning around Sun Records I also listen to sixties garage seventies punk, forties gospel, fifties country and western, surf and French "yé-yé" girls, throw in some soul and early blues. (the less said about my guilty pleasure, Abba addiction the better).

Back to the song, Rockabilly rebel, I was listening to a live version by a new young Norwegian group called Bullet Proof, and the lyrics stuck me as somewhat prophetic in my case…..

My Mama don’t like it, the way I comb my hair,
Papa thinks I’m crazy, in the clothes I wear…

But I’m what I am and I’m gonna keep a rockin’ that way

The kids in the schoolhouse they couldn’t wait too long,
When the school is over, they put their cat clothes on,

Be a real cool cat, be a rockabilly rebel like me

Well it struck me as funny, heck not all my posts can be literary gold. Here is Bullet Proof with my theme song and their own rocking, Lets Swing!

Hugs,

April

Depression, Suicide and the Zombie Apocalypse

Sorry didn't want two serious posts in a row but I find it cathartic to write about what I am feeling (Duh…its a blog).

In yesterday's NY Times there was  an article on the increased suicide rate in the United States: 

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/03/health/suicide-rate-rises-sharply-in-us.html?_r=0

The CDC reports that there was  a 50% increase in suicide amongst men in their fifties and a 60% increase for women between 60 and 64. The article postulates that the increase is due to the continuing recession we are experiencing. Normally I take anything the main stream media says with a healthy ton of salt but the article was businesslike with no particular political axe to grind.

In contrast to the bloodless article the huge number of comments are heartbreaking, most making an explicit connection between job loss and suicide of loved ones.

I can personally attest to the soul destroying nature of unemployment/ underemployment. I believe men or those socialized that way (see what I did there) are especially vulnerable to this thinking as they are brought up to base their self worth on what they do. Just observe when guys get together, first thing they ask each other, is what do you do?  In my darker moods I have thought about suicide, the core reason is work related. Luckily I have friends and family that love me.

I promised zombies too so here goes, I have always like zombie movies as it touches on the existential fear of the loss of self and humanity. The genres current super heated popularity is more about the apocalyptic breakdown of society. There is something darkly appealing about abandoning the mundane troubles of bills, relationships and work for a life and death struggle where we all get to fire big guns and kill monsters….well unless you get eaten.

if there is one thing I hate more than zombies....its Nazi zombies....

  

Don't Worry Baby

As Joey over at his Pad would say, I threw a bit of a wobbly today, heck its not even Monday. I am sure unlike Joe mine usually involves more than a few tears.

I had been feeling rather blue for the last day or two due to financial concerns and my inability to land either a career position or even something short term to help bring a more regular cash flow than I do from writing.

I had been talking to a mom at school when dropping off my children and as she was also freelance we were comparing notes, both being in the same “leaky monetary” boat. I talked about working so hard to remain positive but as she said when you are constantly worried about money it does tend to suck the joy out of life.

Despite the beautifully sunny weather (suddenly summer here) I began to feel worse and worse. When my Internet connection went down as I was trying to get some work done it was the last straw and all the stress exploded. 

Although I am technically self-employed I feel unemployed, useless, unwanted and well a failure.    

My mother called during my wobbly and could tell I was upset and reminded me that I had every thing to live for given my recent good news.

When I am really really upset I retreat to one of my cars, I used to do this as a confused teenager. I would hide in my 59 Caddy stretching out on the big blue leather front seat that was more comfortable than any bed. As the 59 is in storage I took shelter in the Lincoln Continental curling up like a cat on sun warmed jade leather seats. Like a hug from an old friend I felt some peace return and was able to compose myself and return to my desk after a brief rest.

I hope you all don’t think that sounds too crazy, like some sort of automotive themed attempt to return to the womb.

Think I need another visit.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

So I have been thinking how I will travel to the clinic in Montreal, a distance of some 600km (372 miles) from my home in the neighboring Province of Ontario.

I felt I was channeling super blogger Lucy M. as I tried to logically calculate the various costs of car vs. air travel vs. train.

Business class on Via Rail so long as one books well in advance was approximately $370 dollars round trip single fare. It was marginally cheaper to ride coach but having experienced numerous train trips on the Toronto/Windsor corridor I can attest to the cramped seating, which would not be ideal for the journey home.

I also looked into Porter Airlines that operates out of Billy Bishop, Toronto Island Airport, using Bombardier turboprop aircraft. The Airline has great on line reviews and they are supposed to offer better seating/luxury service. As long as you locked in the dates a return trip would be around $340.

By car, required some more detailed calculations,

1976 Lincoln Mark IV: 372 miles @10mpg average equals 37.2 gallons, the equivalent of 140 liters (37.2 x 3.785). At $1.25 per liter that is $175 one-way, $350 return.

(Fuel economy on the highway with cruise control on may be as high as 13-14 mpg but I am taking a conservative average to account for traffic slow downs through Toronto and Montreal).

(Buick Electra, Thunderbird all have similar gas mileage. Corvette was not considered due to seating and luggage limitations)

1985 Cadillac Seville:  372 miles @20mpg average equals 18.6 gallons, the equivalent of 70.40 liters (18.6 x 3.785). At $1.25 per liter that is $88 one-way, $176 return.

(Fuel economy on Seville with cruise control on, flat highway can reach an amazing 30-mpg so costs may be even lower).

Added benefits in favor of the car are door-to-door service, removing the cost of taxi fares to and from airport/train station not to mention the great convenience. Not sure of parking costs in Montreal.

Taking a car will also offer any companion who comes with me the ability to get around the city at will.

Of course taking a car means having someone drive me back from Montreal while I make myself comfortable in either car's well-appointed rear seating area.

So in terms of pure number crunching the Cadillac Seville is the obvious choice. 

I have almost finished a major freelance project, which will pay my travel costs and supplies for the trip but yes, saving money is still a priority.

However being a romantic when it comes to automobiles I am kind of leaning towards the Lincoln as it has been a reliable companion for so many years, she starts better than a fuel injected modern car and has proved extremely dependable. The Lincoln has a relatively low mileage rebuilt high performance 460 but could do with some front-end work. Like me she is a bit of a Kustom project. It would just feel right driving her on this momentous journey.

I have not had the Seville for long but she did prove herself on a trip to Owen Sound last year providing excellent service and fuel economy.

I love road trips and abhor public transportation but the final decision will depend on whether I am traveling by myself or not.

Any recommendations?

Hugs,

April

Miss Canada

I have held off blogging for a few weeks as I have been busy trying to finish a freelance project and because I knew that I would soon have some real news to share.

Two weeks ago I heard from the Provincial Ministry of Health that I had received approval for surgery. All I then needed was a letter from my doctor and some medical forms to fill out.

Today (yes Saturday) I received an e-mail from the office of Drs. Menard and Brassard office saying that July 1^st is to be my date for SRS surgery. Somewhat shocked I got a response so quickly (they had said mid-week they might have an answer) it took a few minutes for me to process the information.

I immediately started texting friends and thinking about all the arrangements necessary for me to travel to Montreal. It hadn’t occurred to me but my friend D pointed out that the first was Canada Day, hence the title of this post!

My first visit to CAMH was October 2009, it took almost nine months to get into see them.

I started hormones in March 2010. It took six months to find a sympathetic doctor.

I started this blog August 18^th, 2010. In my first post I wrote that I hoped my road might be a freeway. There have been a few traffic jams but the destination is now in sight.

I didn’t go full time till September31, 2011 due to employment issues.     

It is hard to believe surgery is just over two months away. The gap between some of these dates doesn’t seem that long but at the time seemed huge. The challenges seemed insurmountable too but here I am. So soon but light years away from the child who laid in bed praying to God to wake up a girl.

I am a pessimist at heart so I can’t help worrying about last minute complications, accidents, problems, that could prevent me from reaching my goal. You know like being caught up in a freak elephant accident or something.

I am of course excited, so please bear with me as I know many have already written about this portion of their journey and the story is somewhat old hat. I am also aware of the pain that those of you who are still on the road and struggling to make progress feel.

I hope that all of you can soon feel the joy I am feeling now.

Hugs,

April

Here is one of my favorite later tunes by the Cramps, and surprisingly appropriate:

 

PS. the photo is of Miss Canada 1966 with a Canadian made Clairtone "G" stereo...cool eh?

Million Dollar Compliment

Once again I am apologizing for my absence, not that I haven't kept up with the adventures of my bloggers in arms.

It was a tough week with some serious downs that I really don't want to talk about yet. In fact I was not going to post anything... till this morning.

I was up till the wee hours last night to meet a deadline for the first section of a major industry directory I am working on. Just enough time this morning to drink two very large coffees, make some last minute edits and then get ready for a dental appointment.

I drove the Jaguar which seems to have developed a mysterious tranny leak (no jokes please), just like the Thunderbird....ah the joys of vintage cars.  The sun has returned but no accompanying warm weather, in fact it snowed on April 1st! see photo below.

After my mostly routine appointment the receptionist out of the blue tells me I look, "absolutely stunning and gorgeous".  I was rather at a loss for words having rushed to get ready that morning and was still suffering the effects of having burnt the candle at both ends.  Nor was not wearing anything fancy just black jeans and a sweater.

She then asks where I am from, uh England I say, "Oh I would have thought you were Scandinavian being so tall and blonde"

I was taken aback as I thought everyone in the office was aware of my "past", clearly she was not as  
she asked about children and then complimented me on my figure and asked about my husband.

OK enough singing my own praises but I did feel like a million bucks driving home.

April Fools indeed

Time for some more tall blondes:

Insert Positive Message Here

I apologize dear readers for not posting for a while, I have some blog posts written and pictures and music to share but my heart has not been in it.

 

So instead let me leave you with some words of wisdom from Don Draper while I work on giving another under paid freelance blow job to an undeserving car company.

The universe is indifferent,

April

PS. Hope you all are watching the Walking Dead this evening, it’s a documentary right?

PSS. Sometimes despair gets the better of me (as some of my posts attest) and I want to surrender but I guess I am just a stubborn bitch who would rather die fighting.

 

Paris, Now Let's Go

Better Than Sex?

Beautiful sunny weekend here with plus degree temperatures that had the whole street come alive. Children on bikes and families talking with each other outside.

I was not the only one taking advantage of the warm weather to wash the winter grime from their cars. The Lincoln received a wash and vacuum as did "family truckster" Chrysler Town & Country. Took ages with extra fine steel wool to get the factory chrome rims clean of baked on brake dust. Ugh so much for my nails.

A weekend highlight was getting the 1977 Jaguar XJS out on Saturday. As the roads were dry I drove her to Oakville to help out at Genni's pub for a few hours.

The cool evening air meant I didn't have to worry about overheating issues (she runs great but I don't like where the temp gauge sits in hot weather. I want to upgrade to a bigger aluminium rad to avoid a summer traffic jam catastrophe.....the aluminum engine reacts fatally to overheating).

Anyway the V12 feels more like a jet turbine and makes me grin from ear to ear, blasting along in the fast lane then taking the off ramp at speed was an amazing feeling. This low mileage one owner car doesn't feel quite new but is darn close.

The XJS doesn't get the kudos or price of its seventies contemporaries, the Ferrari 400 or Lamborghini Espada but is easily their equal if not better.  I would go so far as comparing the XJS to the million dollar 1968-1973 Ferrari Daytona.

Pity mine is the colour of a seventies stove:

adult toy?

Ok prepare to get all misty eyed at this Jaguar sales film, I think I watched it twenty times in a row. Look for the famous number 44 racing XJS at 1:03 and Canadian cold weather testing at 2:25.

Hugs,

April

History of Speed or SPEED is History

On March 5, 2013, Fox Sports officially announced that it would re-launch Speed as Fox Sports 1. In corporate marketing speak that means the channel is history.  I don’t think I turned it on more than twice in the last few years.

After spending almost a decade making automotive television programs for the Charlotte based channel I can’t help feeling a degree of schadenfreude.

For someone obsessed by all things internal combustion the channel was pretty good back in the old Roger Werner, Speedvision days before being purchased by News Corp.

As an independent production company we lived or died by the decisions of Speed executives.  Each season we went through hell, left to wonder if our contract would be renewed. On a limited budget we created the best television possible, sometimes even creating something you might see on Britain’s Top Gear if they were having an off day.

We pitched killer ideas for new shows only to be met with blank stares of incomprehension, we would be asked to change it up but when we asked what they wanted they would say, “we don’t know but we will tell you if we see it.” No one at Speed was a car guy or gal.

In an effort to keep them happy we traveled to South Africa, France, Italy and Germany to capture new stories. We filmed inside Ferrari and Maserati  (I once owned a 3500 GT project car…or rather basket case but that is a tale for another time) we alternately froze and sweltered on racetracks across North America.

My real complaint is that the people running Speed were not car guys, in fact they had no idea about the topic their channel was dedicated to. In my many meetings and conference calls with Speed not one of the people I met with drove an interesting new car, raced, did their on wrenching or had a project car hidden in the garage. Plain Jane sedans and mini vans were the mainstay of Speeds parking lot.

Believe it or not I judged them even harsher then as I used cars as an emotional tool to block out the constant voices of transition in my head. Any man who did not have grease under his nails, spend all night in the garage working on a ground up restoration was beneath contempt. 

Could I have saved Speed if I was in charge of programming? Not sure but I would have made sure they had some real car shows.

True story:

On a spin off show we made for three seasons, the host reviewing an upmarket sport compact called it a real MILF car. We received a call from Speed after they saw the episode asking that we do not use obscure automotive terms that not all viewers might understand.