The Heartbreak of Sleep

As a child at boarding school I suffered terrible insomnia, no doubt brought about the stress of my surroundings. 

I rarely suffer from sleeplessness as an adult, in fact I can usually down a cup or two joe in the evening and then sleep the sleep of the innocent, my lights going out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

The problem is that in the innumerable years in between I developed a bad habit of being a night hawk. Going to bed at two in the morning and getting only four hours (sometimes less) of sleep a night.  

Freelancing means that I have to devote most evenings after the children are in bed to getting in my second shift.  By 11 PM I have got my second wind, if I am on a roll I will push it till the early hours. Sometimes I will try to squeeze in some exercise in those evening hours too.

It used to be working outside on cars in all weathers, I always found a reason to tire myself out and never be in danger of being all alone with my thoughts....hmmm wonder what all that was about ;)

As the children  have been off for two weeks and I have been spared the early morning routine of being the family alarm clock, breakfast maker, a lunch bag packer I have let  myself get to bed later and later…sometime after three am. 

Last night was no exception, I had to edit an article that proved a little more difficult than I expected. The thirty minute job stretched into three hours. I should also mention that I am enabled by fellow scribe and inveterate insomniac Cassidy http://cassidysquest.blogspot.ca/. We will trade off musical and cultural links well into the night.

School begins again on the 7th so wish me luck in my attempt to better manage my schedule. 

There is still hope science will eliminate the need for sleep, think how productive we could all be. Of course we might all go crazy from the lack of REM sleep.

Does anyone remember that X-Files episode, "Sleepless" where the intrepid Mulder and Scully investigate strange deaths surrounding a group of Vietnam veterans, guinea pigs of a secret military project that eradicates the need for sleep.

 "sleep is where demons are released in our dreams."  The characters in "Sleepless" were haunted by their memories in real life because they were not able to sleep".

When I first saw the episode I thought, where can I sign up!

2013 Predictions

OK kats and kittens another Christmas has come and gone. Its time to look ahead to 2013 (jeez hope it was better than 2012) with my first annual predictions for the New Year:

1.Mini skirts will make a come back:

2. Detroit will be sold to Omni Consumer Products for $1.

3. Aliens will return Elvis:

4. Lincoln will release a Mustang based Mark IX with a 600 HP Coyote V8, well that is if I am made Lincoln brand manager, Ford you can contact me at this blog. Don’t forget to add lots of chrome boys.

5. Zombie virus will break out in China finding its way to our shores via infected leopard print mini-skirts sold at Walmart.

 And knowing is half the battle....

Hugs,

April

Trip to the Salon

How is that for the world's most unimaginative post, well that is what you get for blogging before your first cup of coffee.

Thanks to a Christmas gift from my mother I was able to pay a long over due visit to my favourite salon for an electrolysis appointment and to get my hair done. I had been very upset with recent photos as I hated the way my hair looked, not that I can do much with it as it is so straight.

A little bragging,  a regular client who had seen me in guy mode when I first started coming to the salon  (and at the time asked why a guy was there) remarked to stylist about how nice that woman looked.

Highlights and a cut made it look much neater in preparation for an interview and some important meetings in January.

Busy since Christmas working on a series articles due in January. Nothing too exciting, most automotive business stories.

OMG where did I put my arms

Hugs,

April

I Hate Snow

only the beak of the T-Bird visible

On Wednesday we had more snow fall than we had all of last year combined.

Driving back from Hamilton after coffee with friends was particularly challenging. I avoided the high winds on the Skyway bridge over the entrance to Burlington harbour. Instead I took the unplowed and unsalted road along the lake. Slow going but the Lincoln handled it with relative aplomb, as long as one had a delicate touch with the accelerator.

The next mourning, two plus hours of shoveling and car moving about, oh and in heels. Wouldn't want my crazy neighbour to think I am nothing but a helpless woman.

Seville's bustle back filled in by wind and snow 

Poor Lincoln lived its early life in Florida

Opened as a toll bridge in 1958, paid off and toll removed 1973

This song seems appropriate:

Hugs,

April

You Trashed My Christmas

You call that mistletoe...looks kinda small to me

A last minute Christmas gift from the Primitives:

In case any of you are still looking for gifts for little ol' me (nothing that makes me look like a grandmother OK? already feeling old and haggard enough) here are some ideas:

Russian SST

1966 Duesenberg

self explanatory

I am a woman of simple tastes.

Merry Christmas bitches

All I Want For Christmas Is To See You Die

Last week was unmitigated hell, I was seriously depressed for a week which was damn close to me seeking professional help. All I could do was lie on my bed and imagine inventive ways to do myself in. Every time I attempted to pull myself out of it something would go wrong and I would be two levels further down in my personal Inferno.

I wrote a very raw blog post that I chose not to inflict upon you dear constant reader.
Finally on Friday evening I managed to break free of the darkness and start work on a writing assignment. Actually I am feeling rather proud of myself right now. This afternoon I was even dancing around the basement rec room with my youngest daughter. No my heart didn't grow two sizes that day but I am hell of a lot less grinchy right now!

I even survived a rather painful fall on a freshly washed kitchen floor, less haste more speed. Still hurts like the Dickens though.
Oh don't worry about the title of this post, its a line from my new favourite Christmas song:

Merry Christmas to all the guys and gals out there who didn't start that way. I hope Santa brings you a GTO.

I've Had It

Sometimes it is the straw that breaks the camel's back. I think I have reached the point where I say I have had it.

But what can that mean, there is no going back, not that I would ever want or attempt to. The way forward seems not difficult but impossible sometimes. To be stuck in no man's land after so long a struggle is heartbreaking.

Bureaucratic road blocks, the difficulty in finding a job, too many carrots dangled in front of me maddeningly out of reach.

Perhaps I will feel differently tomorrow.

The following tracks are from Alex Chilton's 1979 album, Like Flies on Sherbert produced by the other worldly Jim Dickinson (I enjoy spinning the Jester's Cadillac Man in happier times) in Memphis. The music is both new and old, broken, disjointed and captivating. Long a favourite of mine, its confusion and anger mirrors my own feelings better than I could explain.   Here are two tracks, I've Had It a cover of the old Bell Notes hit and the archaic No More the Moon Shines on Lorena: